Why Periods are Never Happy!

I hate the slogan from Always...."Have a Happy Period" To which I say to the male ad executives (b/c menstruating women don't think up that crazy shit-we know it ain't happy) Fuck you!

What is so freaking happy about a period? You freaking bleed (in my case on average 7-9 days) and you freaking soak the pad (sometimes in an hour) and leak all over your pants and the seat you are sitting in so that everyone else in the world knows that you have the 'special' woman moment.

You are a hormonal mess....the sound of everyone voice gyrates on your nerves. You want to tell them to shut the fuck up and then they keep on talking.....remember menstrual murder might not fly in court unless it is a woman judge that is also on her period at the time of sentencing. Decide the next best course of action is to blog your thoughts about menstrual murder that you want to commit on your husband. He will never understand when you tell him to shut the fuck up you actually mean him to shut the fuck up. He keeps on talking and you start crying. Then he states 'still on your period, huh? So no sex for me tonight?'

Um no you smart fucking man, no sex for you ever and tears are spilling down your cheeks, b/s he just keeps moving that mouth of his. His solution is to take Midol and get over it.