My own Cake Wreck

Lets talk about this cake...it is all sorts of wrong.

My grandma got this cake for my brother, Jim. She ordered a chocolate chip cookie cake and that is what she picked up (see picture above)

Note the obvious Jim in gel icing and not buttercream and the wiped off icing underneath his name. The thumbprint in the balloon and messed up white thingys. The writing is all sorts of messed up. Not even spacing in the words-look at all the empty space at the bottom. Still didn't stop people from eating the cake after we all had a good laugh and pictures were taken. Have you seen the website Cake Wrecks? If not you must-gives you a great ab workout.

Track Record

I love to cook, really I do; but I am known as a klutz in the kitchen. I have started fires when I broke my finger and spilled nail polish remover on the counter top near open flames. Take heed of those warning-it was a huge fire ball. The top wasn't on all the way on the nail polish remover. I have dropped and broke boiling pots of water.....spilled countless things all over the kitchen. I am surprised I have not been banned from the kitchen! Well I know why I have not been banned from kitchen; it would mean Jason would have to cook and we know he won't make a proper meal unless you want pizza 7 nights a week.

Anyway, my latest misadventures in the kitchen involved me cooking spaghetti. The prep itself was kosher. All was going well UNTIL I went to clean up the kitchen and removed the pan from over the burner.......this is what I uncover:

What is it you ask? Well it is none other than melted black pen. That truly was a bitch to clean up off my stove. I think I went through 2 paper towel rolls, ceramic stovetop cleaner and a non-scratch scrubbie to get all the ink off. It didn't help that is was hot and I had to move fast to clean it all up before it cooled off.
This further proves that I am not and never will be Martha Stewart in the kitchen.

Only I would do this!

See this picture? It is William Penn on City Hall Building. Take a picture-check!

Then get told by fellow Philly native that William Penn is in a very revealing pose and to zoom in. I do as I am told and start laughing at what zoom reveals!


Yeah I am that person! He is holding his "gun"

I am not a Philly Native or a building name knower and I edited.

I am home

I had a blast seeing my girls, drinks were consumed, little sleep was had, laughs were shared, memories were made!

I am tired, but it was worth it! I meet lots of new people in Philly as well. South street is fun! Let me tell you what! All sorts of interesting people to see and hear. I am glad I was able to go.

My Mother's day present!

I wanted a purse, I think Jason might have gotten me it, but then I found the best present of all! I am going on a road trip to see a little band that goes by the name of 100 Monkeys. This trip was suppose to take place in NJ, then it got bumped to a suburb of Philly and now it is in Philly! I secured tickets, secured hotel room, got traveling food, good music and good company!!!

I am road tripping with 2 other friends and meeting 6 more in Philly to rock the weekend away.

Isn't my hubby the best ever? Letting me hang out with some great friends and drink and be a party girl. WOOT WOOT! Alcohol will most likely be consumed in large quantities. Pictures will be taken, my morals will be shot that I am in fact not innocent, but I am going to have a grand time!

Thank Jason for the best Mom's Day present ever! Love you!

She cracks me up!

Demi and I went out to the mall on Saturday and we ventured into Hot Topic! ♥ that store!

We were browsing the store and she sees a shirt and says mom you should so do this with your hair-the spikey haired on! I am like oh you want me to do Tokio Hotel hair? She is like how do you know all this stuff? You are so goth!

How does my 8 year old k (now what goth is? HAHAHA!

She must do Rain Dances!

I am convinced she does them on Sunday/Tuesday/Thursday nights. She goes outside in her jammies around midnight and asks for rain on the days she has softball games. There is no other explanation as to why it is raining on M/W/F since softball season has started.

If you have other theories let me hear them, so far this is the only that makes sense.

Lost in Translation

So the boy and I decide to eat at Taco Bell for lunch. It is his favorite restaurant behind McDs and Olive Garden!

We went with some friends and the boys were picking out swivel chairs while the mommies ordered food and yelling at them to stop swiveling the chair that sounds like nails across the chalkboard. That warning encouraged more of said chair swiveling.

So it is my turn to place the taco order. I ask for a number 6 (2 chapulas and a taco) and 2 soft regular tacos. The cashier says beef, steak, chicken, I say beef supreme. Then he says I have a number 6 with an additional taco-mind you I can't understand his Spanglish. I told him no a number 6 WITH 2 more soft tacos. He says you know that comes with a taco? I said I know AND I WANT 2 more tacos. Then he replies so you want 2 tacos total? Now I am getting upset. I am like I want to order 2 additional tacos....wishing now I took Spanish in High school to order the number 6 AND 2 more tacos. Then he starts shaking his head at me-like I am the fucking idiot that can't understand him. Finally, he is like you want a number 6 and a 2 extra tacos? BINGO!!!!!

Then my friend-who is awesome btw-says this is why America needs to set one standard language, so we can order fast food easily.

My son ate all three tacos! The man must have thought the fat woman was going to eat all the food!

Does sleep elude you as well?

I have so much trouble sleeping lately. I don't nap during the day

I cut out caffeine. Not helping me-I think I am naturally high strung.

I have a theory to my sleeplessness. Wanna read about it?

Is is 1 of 2 things or both. Not sure yet.

It could be these burning my retinas
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I was on line shopping while chatting with some slappers of mine
and we looked up Torrid-it is the fat girl sister store of Hot Topic. They are selling these lovely little numbers as skinny jeans! I am
sorry, but talk about oxymoron! Fat girls NEED NOT wear
skinny jeans. It is 50 things wrong! Skinny jeans are for skinny
people-like Jonas Brothers or KStew. Hello imagine Roseanne
Barr is that little number. Upchuck a little did ya? I thought
so.

The retina burning caused me to forget theory 2.

Or I could show you something my colorblind hubby would pick out for me to wear! I am going to show you any way b/c it is wrong as well. I am not liking the 80s neon fashion going on. It was cool when I was 13 and skinny, not 32 and a fat frumpy housewife!
|
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------------------------> colorblind at work!

I love the blue pants! The orange shirt and
bright yellow shoes! Yup a colorblind person
assembled this outfit!



Theory two hit me. Twilight fanfiction. I never meant to read it, I never meant to like it, I didn't want to. But these people write where SM left off, most tell of what they think should have happened on Isle Esme and afterwards, some offshot Jacob and Renesmee, some are Alice and Jasper. Some are really good-nothing at all what so ever of Twilight. Yes same characters, but they are all humans. I am also trying to limit my fanfiction reading to 1 (ok 5) chapters a day. The smut is good. Hubby doesn't mind. Math coming up: Smut+ me reading it=happy satisfied hubby!

Now I am going to go to bed and try this sleep thing.

LOLOLOL!!!!

I love this video! Gets me everytime!

Time is flying right past me!

<-----see that boy. Cute yes? He is starting kindergarten in the fall.
Where did my baby boy go to?

He is so excited to go to school full time and eat lunch with all his buddies and play on the playground and be in the same school as his sister. He could hardly contain his excitement when we went to kindergarten round-up to get his registration packet.

Everything he does is bittersweet for me, b/c he is my baby and the hours are flying past me.

My Bad!

I tried these on my teeth. Mistake in the making! I grind my teeth and apparently when you do this-you make your teeth weak. Well you do. I wore away the enamel. So, I put these strips on and freaking Hades is truly sadistic motherfarker....I couldn't rip them off fast enough. The bleach hitting my enamel weakened teeth not good. I felt the burn for hours after. I threw this shit away! I must learn to love not so pearly whites!