Can I get a Do Over Day?

Recap of my year so far.

2011-07-18T02:15:00.002-05:00

Where did I last leave off? Been busy so far-well at times. Here are the highlights

Jan-I turned 34, realized my life very well could be half over. Had major panic attack that I need to be healthier, saw a dietician.

Feb-more cold weather in IL, hibernated a lot. Not much happens in Feb, beside a record breaking blizzard. yeah dug our selves out of 6 feet snow drifts.

March-it was cold and wet, spring didn't start right away

April-freak out because School is almost over for the kids, celebrated Easter, I know I did something in this month-maybe a concert or something. I can't remember.

May-kids out of school, saw Weird Al, went to the Zoo, still cold as heck outside

June-go to City. take kids on speed boats in Lake Michigan, conquer my fear of Ferris Wheels, play in splash fountains, Demi goes to Michigan to visit grandparents

July-have heat wave and horrible wind storms that blow off siding, dog gets terrified by trampoline chasing him in his yard now has phobia of back yard.

Then in August my kids start school on the 12th can you believe that crap?

I spammed myself

2011-01-15T00:58:00.006-06:00

I was looking in my spam folder of yahoo and I love seeing when I spam myself.

I wonder if I make a universal blog of people to submit what they been spammed with under there name if it would be hilarious? I imagine so: Anastasia spammed me. She is looking for relation of the man kind. I really can't help her in that department-I mean Cathie is a very girl name, no?

so this is the spam I received:

Good day:) How are you?:)
...
From:
Cathiexxxxxx (izeoku99 at hotmail dot com) <----NOT MY REAL email addy
Add to Contacts <----NO THANK YOU!
To: cathiexxxxxx at yahoo dot com
Good morning!
My name is Anastasia.(see I told you she is not Cathie)
I want to search my love. I want to search the man for long relations. I
want
to have true relations and the real love. Therefore if you do not want
it that you should not answer my message. Maybe learning more about each
other we
can have real relations. I shall write more about myself and send you
my photo if you will interest in my letter. (kinda tempting, but I can't infest my computer with her STDs)
You can answer me to my address:
focoyla at yahoo dot com (this is not the same address as above-I don't want relations with a liar)
Earlier I do not use dating service, therefore I want excuse for you
if I have made it not so good.
I hope to speak with you soon, (she will however be speaking with my trash can)
Anastasia.

House Painters needed!

2010-12-29T00:41:00.002-06:00

My hubby and I bought a new construction house 3 years ago. They builders said not to paint it the first year. We are such rule followers we didn't paint. I have asked for 2 years now for gift cards to buy paint because that shit is expensive. Hello $30/gallon for polymers. Anyway, finally this was the year! My parents got Jason and I a gift card to The Home Depot, so we can buy paint and lots of it!

Such a great gift UNTIL I realized I have to actually paint. Now the anxiety and panic sets in. What colors to use, how to paint, do I want to do those awesome wall treatments or keep it basic. Decisions decisions decisions. Lucky for me my brother said he will help me.

I wish I could hire an interior decorator to help me decide the best colors. I want to do colors and not your basic neutral colors. I am afraid of color. HELP!

Well it was another long hiatus

2010-12-16T01:32:00.002-06:00

I have become a hermit crab lately. I have nothing to write about, well I do; but am too scared to publish on the internet my writings. I have been toying with the idea of making another blog just for my writing.

I also feel like I have become one of the hundreds of thousands of moms writing about her kids' day. You know DMDKSS (Different Mom Different Kid Same Story) blog. I mean how amusing can it be to read about a strangers days when it is basically the same as yours? I understand the writing style varies between people, but in the end it is the same. Our kids crack us up, they make us laugh, they make us go insane. We worry about them while they are at school...is that little brat named Susie Brattychild picking on my daughter while at recess? Is my son being made fun of for his glasses or his sense of style? I hope my kids are not being bullies to the other children while at recess. I hope they are respecting their teachers and learning what they should be learning. What shall I make for dinner? Should I do laundry today or can I put it off for one more day? Oh the carpet is looking bad-better vacuum it. Kids fighting over cartoons-oh JOY! Dog chewing up the stuffed Santa in the corner-awesome! Can we say BORING? I just have no more desire to write about that stuff anymore. Hopefully it will come back, but for the time being; I am not blogging.

So that is why I am feeling very introverted lately.

Harley Davidson the dog.

2010-08-25T00:16:00.002-05:00

That is Harley. He is 9 months old. He is some type of mutt. I adopted him at one of those Petco adoption thingies. I was suppose to get replacement fish back in Jan b/c Dory the blue beta fish went to fish heaven and my kids wanted more animals, so off to Petco we went to get more fish.

So we walk in-I brought the kids with me-see that is a my mistake. Should have left them home, I could be feeding fish instead of a 50 pound lovable mutt. Anyway, there was this area sectioned off with 9 puppies in it. I resisted that area, the kids could not. They wouldn't have lets go look at the fish-oh no, they had to look at the puppies. So then I had to look at the puppies. Yeah I did. I held a few of the pups from that litter....none grabbed my eyes, I was like c'mon kids lets look at fishes. They drag their feet, their hearts were not on fish, but on dogs.

Then we go back to the area-I am an idiot. I held one and OMG she was like crazy hyper-um no. Then I held him. I put him on his back and he fell asleep on me. I cried and kissed him and said you are coming home with me. This is where I turn evil. I had the daughter call up her daddy and turn on the waterworks. It worked. The shelter said they needed to give him medicine and we can pick him up in a few days. Cool beans

We get home and Jason will not talk to us at all. He is not happy that we talked him into a dog. He was worried about potty training-he has never had a puppy in his life; all his dogs have been house broken when he got them. I had a lot of work ahead of me. I researched and knew crate training was the way to go for my family. It was a lot of work. That first night OMG did he howl and cry. I held him at night and extended the time in his crate longer and longer. It took a full month, but now he sleeps in his crate at night or when ever he naps. He got the house training thing down with in 2 months. Every hour he was outside (oh did I mention we got him in the middle of winter?) I fell a lot and tore my back muscles. If he made an accident in the house, he was taken outside to finish then brought back inside and put in his crate. It worked.

He is an awesome dog albeit his nails are still killer. We are working on the no jumping up to greet people. He is so not bad ass like his name implies, he will not protect the house shall we ever get robbed-he would be licking the robber like crazy. He is the most lovable dog. He follows me and Jason around like no tomorrow. Jason does really love his dog. He is a good boy and we get lots of compliments on how well behaved Harley is.

ThanksJapanese Dude

2010-08-21T12:59:00.002-05:00

Your scribbles of spam shit has made me change all my settings.

I don't like having 300 spam responses to my posts. So doing this will hopefully lessen that spam shit!

Please Don't let me forget!

2010-08-17T02:14:00.002-05:00

We went and saw Weird Al and RUSH this summer and took our 6 year old on his first roller coaster. I will save this for another posting. Peace out

oh dear I am a slacker blogger.

2010-08-17T01:39:00.003-05:00

I have had nothing funny to post-well I do-I just post all my business up on facebook.

I have had my trials and tribulations this summer. Insomnia sucks. I will have to gather my wits and do some posting.

What shall I blog about? How medicine sucks when you have bipolar AND seizures and react to everything under the sun?

how your ass, feet, and arms go numb all freaking day? Sometimes at the same time? That is fun.

Shall we talk about movies? Books? How not to clean a house but instead the house is in the running for Clean House or Hoarders?

Did I mention on here we have a dog? His name is Harley, he is a big lovable mutt. Which reminds me my memory is going in the shitter. I can't remember anything anymore, I have taken to writing lists all over the place.

Been a depressing last few months

2010-05-16T19:48:00.002-05:00

I have been down in the dumps. My life is I don't know. I am tired of taking care of everyone. No one ever takes care of me.

I have a disabled husband that has in honesty been pretty useless since he can barely walk. He is a 33 year old with 90 year legs due to arthritis from his car accident. Earlier this month he had surgery to remove all the hardware. He has been sitting on the couch for the past 2 weeks.

My house is shit. There is more freaking clutter piling up then I can shake a stick at. I am not June Cleaver. I can't do it all, I just can't and the house suffers.

Oh well, I am being honest here. I hate what my life has become. The stress is getting to me and I am getting more and more headaches and stomachaches.

Well until next time.

I am not sure who this was harder on.....

2010-01-10T20:20:00.002-06:00

I was brushing my hair tonight after my long hot soak in the tub. My dear son walks in the bathroom and I ask him 'Jacob is this a white hair?' He says in all his 6 year old honesty 'yeah mommy you got a white hair.' I pull it out and whimper to myself 'I am not gonna cry, I am not gonna cry. I made it to 32 years before my first strand of white hair.' It was a long strand of white hair at that.

I look over at my son and he has tears welling in his eyes. I ask him why he is about to cry? He says 'you are old mommy and gonna die soon and you won't be around to see my children with my future wife.' Talk about breaking your heart. I tell him one hair doesn't mean I am going to die, but I am getting older and I will be around a long time to see his children with his future wife. He then tells me Kaity (the girl he has adored since preschool) isn't gonna marry him and he doesn't know who is future wife will be. I told him it is okay if you don't know. You will know when you get older.

He blames my white hair on his sister turning 9 which is near a teenager in his mind so this is all her fault.

Uh-oh

2010-01-06T01:22:00.003-06:00

So for Christmas, my niece Aubrey got a poster of Edward. She loves Edward. As she was unrolling the poster and showed me I turned my head and asked my loving ever so sexy husband if I can get an Edward poster and frame it and mount him (oh do I wish I could do that in real life) on the ceiling over our bed. He told me no and rolled his eyes at me. I even said he can put up his Iron Maiden tapestry, Rush and Star Wars posters if I can hang all the sexy vampires in our room and he still said no. He thinks I am slightly obsessed with vampires.

Okay Okay I admit it. I love Vampire Diaries, True Blood and Twilight. Hello have you seen these men? Hello eye candy!

Chores bore me to tears.

2009-12-21T00:21:00.003-06:00

I will admit, I am not a fan of wifely homemaker chores. I dispise laundry, cooking, doing dishes, dusting, vacuuming. All of it-I am allergic to it. It makes me sneeze, break out in allergic hives and gives me headaches.

The worst chore of all is the grocery shopping! I have no idea why I hate it so much. I think it is the loading into the cart, watching people bag it up wrong (you know put bread in with fruit, canned goods on top of the fragile delicate eggs), paying obscene amount of my hubbys hard earned money for it, loading it in my van, driving home praying the bread doesn't get squished (b/c squished bread is crap and tastes horrible or so I am told by certain people in this house), the absolute worst part is the freaking unloading and putting it away!

Putting the food away means I have to clean my fridge! I hate cleaning it. I am trying to grow my own pencillian. I have shit insurance and some antibiotics are upwards of $60 a bottle.

Anyhow, now kids are on Christmas Holiday break and I need to figure out how to make 12 meals for the next 4 days using these ingredients:
here we go with what is in my cupboard:
1 box of rice
2 packages of ramen noodles
3 boxes of opened stale cereal (I think has been in there since October)
4 apples
5 pieces of bread
6 boxes of candy
7 juice boxes
8 pieces of lunch meat
9 swedish fish
10 bags of popcorn
11 poptarts
12 eggs

yes that is really what is in my kitchen.

So, I figure I might have to trudge out into the tundra of the Illinois winter with kids in tow to gather food for my cave.

The Facts of Life

2009-11-09T01:22:00.002-06:00

Jacob cracks me up like no one else. He is learning new things everyday and is amazed at this new knowledge.

So lately he has been pulling at his boyhood and I am like dude stop that. He says why do I need to stop pulling it? I tell him 'you could hurt it and one day you won't become a daddy.' He looks at me like I lost my marbles and says 'mooooooooooooom, I am a boy and I don't make babies.' I should have left the conversation drop there and been on my way; but I didn't. I went a step further.<----this is a rookie mom mistake and I am not a rookie mom.

I said yeah boys help make babies. He's like 'um how?' Me (nonchalantly) sometimes when a boy and girl are married, they do something where their pee-pees touch and a baby is made. He then took off running and screaming 'OMG Demi do you know when I get married to a girl, I am gonna touch her peepee with my peepee and we are going to have a baby?

She replies 'yeah' she is giggling.

Then Jacob tells his dad hid new found knowledge of how babies are made. Jason is replies 'isn't that gross, Jacob?'

To which Jacob replies 'I am never doing that like ever.'

(He hasn't figured out that was how he was made, he still thinks Jason bought him at the local seed store and I swallowed the seed with water)

Then my lesson is done. Jacob thinks it is gross and that makes me happy.

I have a deep dark secret

2009-10-07T23:17:00.002-05:00

please don't tell my mom.

I don't clean the upstairs part of my house. Shhhh.....I live in a 2,000 square foot house and I RARELY ever clean the upstairs. It consists of 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a loft area and the laundry room (more like a glorified closet). The loft area is for my kids entertainment benefit when they decide there are no monsters living up there or under the futon AND realize the umbilical cord is indeed been cut between us. The kids rooms look like tornados hit it every millisecond of the day. People tell me I have kids, but I go to other peoples houses and their kids room are clean-granted the kids also have separate play rooms ie basement. We do not have a basement.

My bedroom is clean as is my bathroom. I do the laundry, but the overall mess factor gets to me. I also know when adults come over they are hanging out downstairs and the kids further trash the upstairs. So my logic is why bother cleaning?

My downstairs is clean. Not to my mom standards, but she lives in MI, so I don't have to hear her bitch about how horrible of a housekeeper I really am.

Such innocence

2009-09-26T00:27:00.003-05:00

So I tucked my kids into bed tonight later than usual. I let them stay up a little bit longer on Friday and Saturday nights.

I turned off Demi's lights and said good night. I went to tend to my clothes that needed hanging up. I am done with that job and walk into loft and notice her light is on with the door slightly ajar. I tip toe over and watch my daughter play dress-up in front of her dresser. She is putting on make-up and doing her hair. She is in some white shorts and her training bra and a purple sash over that I am assuming for a beauty pageant.

As I am watching my oldest child play, I am filled with love for her all over again. I did not get mad at her for disobeying and not going to bed, but I watched her a good 10 minutes and really seeing 'her.' I let her stay up and play, I didn't interrupt her play as I watched how her brain works. Then I saw something else that is really I don't know how to explain, but I saw the future of raising a daughter. She will be one of the girls that is most popular, a leader, she will be making sure she looks perfect before going out with her friends. She will develop her first crush and have a first boyfriend (she is starting to show interest in boys, but will not admit it to me, but I hear the giggles when she is talking to her friends about boys). She will have a first kiss, fall in love, learn to drive a car, make her own decisions, have her own thoughts and ideas; but for now, tonight, I am letting her be an innocent carefree child that thinks unbeknownst to me is sleeping in bed and not playing dress-up as I watch with tears flowing down my cheeks at how precious my daughter is.

Then she came downstairs with a bloody nose and we cuddled on the couch as I ran my fingers through her hair comforting her. That is my job to comfort her when she is hurting. She is teaching me to be a mom and for that I can never thank her for the awesome job she has bestowed upon me. I think she is going to be a great girl, even though most days she will tell you that she believes I hate her. I don't but I am trying to raise her and it is a very hard job; one that she will never understand for a very long time.

Take 2 on my daily life.

2009-09-24T22:15:00.000-05:00

So awhile go I wrote a post on my daily life. I thought I would write about my NEW and exciting life with 2 kids in school!
720am-grunt and wake up
721am-find clothes that never made it to the washing machine
725am see if kids are awake b/c hubby woke them or if they are sleeping. They are sleeping
730 all three of us walk downstairs looking like zombies
735 pouring cereal in bowl after you have told the kid they can't have bacon, eggs, hash browns for breakfast-this is not a restaurant.
736 realized you took the kool-aid out of fridge to pour into cereal-swear alot
737 pour new cereal WITH milk
740 feed kids
750 tell kids to hurry up and eat and get dressed.
751 kids still taking sweet time to eat, while I am rushing like a mad woman to make sure all homework is in the correct folder, make lunches.
755am brush daughters hair-curse under breathe when she tells you she want 2 french braids with the purple elastics-ask her for purple elastics and hear I have no clue
813am hurry up with shoes. Melt down ensues b/c the laces loops are not perfect according to OCD daughter
816am hop in mom mobile.
820am get yelled at by my son that he is missing recess b/c of his sister
821-822am kids screaming over the above statement
827am arrive home.SWEET!
828am turn on xmradio LOUD
830am until 255pm surf the internet (read stalk hot celebs), eat hot food, clean up a little, do not do laundry.
300pm drive to pick up kids
315pm kids out of school
316pm kids ask if they can go to friends/park/store/whatever and hear the tantrums when you say it is a school night and there is homework and chores at home to be done.
320-400pm do homework which is always proceeded by homework stinks, can I do it later and me being the mom says just do it now! and have afternoon snack or as my kids try 15 snacks.
4-5pm watch cartoons and hear fighting over whose turn it is to watch a certain show-heaven help us if they don't watch Phineas and Ferb for the millionth time or miss an episode of Spongebob and say the lines word for word..
5pm start dinner, hear I don't want that for dinner, say too bad I am the mom and we are eating this
6pm daddy comes home and hear him complain about shit. I rarely ever hear what he says....he gets in my way most days.
615-eat dinner and fight over telling kids to eat veggies
7pm decide not to do dishes
8pm start bedtime routine, bathtime for 6 year old and shower for 9 year old. 6 year old proceeds to wash the floor with his splashing. the 9 year old is yelling that the water is not hot enough.
815 brush hair and teeth. Tell kids hair needs to be brushed, find out daughter did not rinse conditioner out of hair, tell her to go rinse it and hear yet another meltdown about how it will not leave her hair. You take her back to shower and show her she has to actually STAND under the flow of water to help rinse out conditioner. Curse to yourself she is her fathers daughter.
830 read a story and pick out toys to take to our toy cluttered bed.
831pm they are now trained to not come out of room unless they have a body function that needs tending to.
9-midnight watch adult tv and eat frosting and cookies that I have hidden from my children.

Its a love/hate thing

2009-09-23T00:25:00.003-05:00

I hate cleaning house
I hate laundry
I hate lima beans still
I hate loading and unloading the dishwasher
I hate clothes shopping
I hate being bipolar
I hate my Cpap machine
I hate taking my meds

I love vacuuming.
I love my kids
I love my hubby
I love watching House
I love being bipolar
I love driving my van blasting music very loud
I love the internet
I love watching sappy movies
I love going to concerts
I love to lose myself in a great book
I love having a clean house
I love to see my kids playing games and being silly with one another
I love that Jason will come up and kiss me passionately for no reason
I love that I can feed my children healthy food and give them clean water
I love that I can say I have been married 10 years to my best friend
I love that I own a piece of America.

This little list of the things I love keeps me going when the world looks horrible on a daily basis. I am not dwelling on the plight of America. It sucks. I feel no matter who was elected in as President, it still would suck. All I can do is focus my energy on the important things in my life-my kids, my hubby, making sure there are clothes on our backs, food in the bellies and a roof over our head, because when you get right down to it; all you have is your family and for them I am blessed.

I have been on a blog vacation

2009-09-16T22:26:00.002-05:00

I had nothing witty to say, so I choose not to wrote when I am without the wit.

Today I went and saw my neuro doctor. Having seizures suck-let me tell you that and add it to having bipolar=major sucko! But it makes my life interesting.

So anyway, I have to wear a CPAP machine-or as I call it the devil incarnate destined to ruin my sex appeal to my hubby at 3am (in case he ever wakes up at that time, I might still be awake, though) Whew that was a long ass run on sentence. Oh well. My thoughts and my writing don't punctuate. LOL.

So I was honest and told the doctor I have not worn the thing all summer. I HATE it! It is like having a squid wrapped around your face forcing you to breathe. Maybe I stopped breathing b/c Jackson or Robert took my breath away-oh right that is what my dreams are made of. He was like why not? I said I am not sleeping very much-like 3 hours a night and I am usually on the couch. He said well why aren't you in your bed sleeping? I tell him my bed is boring. He said doesn't your hubby entertain you? I said nope, as soon as his head hits the pillow he is out cold. Then the doctor says well it is your hubby's job to entertain you and make the bed fun. I think the doc was implying my hubby needs to have sex with me. I am sorry, I am a freak of nature and sex keeps me up for hours. We had a good laugh and talked about meds and then I cried about my lack of sleep.

So I will try the drugs he prescribed and see if it helps or I might have to biofeedback and I am not wanting to do that at all!

When You Wish Upon a Star

2009-08-18T01:06:00.002-05:00

Really makes no difference who you are......

A while ago, my children and I were eating dinner and talking about what we would wish for. It is neat and awesome to hear what they want in their world. They are after all of 5 and 8 years old (for a few more weeks-I have 2 Sept. babies). My 5 year old, Jacob, is so innocent in his requests, he has not a care in the world or any idea of ugliness that is out there on this planet. That is the way it should be, he should remain innocent and believe in Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Tooth fairy (he is waiting patiently for her to arrive), that giggles are contagious, a mother's kiss can cure all boo-boos and there will always be Popsicles in the freezer for him.

My darling Demi, she is 8, understands that some of the world is ugly. She grasps at this age that body image is a driving force in society. That not everyone likes not having money and people struggle with money and sometimes there is just not enough to go around; there is a war happening, that everything is not centered around her, that parents get divorced, that not everything is going be okay. She hasn't believed in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny or the tooth fairy since she was 3-she figured it out when she saw many Santas and none of them looked the same and she didn't buy my story of well he has helpers dear. She has though understood to not ruin the spirit of Santa for the children that still believe in him.

Such a difference in perception in a short 3 years, huh?

So as I was saying, my children and I were talking about what we would wish for if a genie granted us 10 wishes. I forgot that I wrote them all down until I found my notebook. I read it today and smiled as I reflected on their thoughts processes. I remember the day we talked about this vividly. They got so excited, like it could really happen if they wished hard enough. So I wanted to share it with you, maybe it might make you ask your children what they would wish for if they could have a genie and 10 wishes.

Jacob's wish list
1. No Mosquitoes
2. Bees with no stingers
3. To be Rich
4. Wish Wall-E was real
5. a 5 part couch (I have no idea what he means maybe a sectional)
6. Chairs that are more comfortable with no wooden backs to them (my dining chairs have wicker backs to them)
7. Never Rain
8. Wish Christmas was everyday
9. Able to bring both backpacks to school
10.Really big house

Demi's wish list
1. To be smartest person in whole world
2. Be Famous (I think she can achieve this one)
3. Live in Mansion
4. Be able to Fly
5. To have a sister
6. Bigger bedroom
7. Lifetime supply of shoes
8. Be in Book of World Records
9. Have our house painted
10. To have Chicago Cubs win every game

One day I would love to fulfill some of my children's wishes and keep them believing that things will always turn out great for us and our family. We have overcome many obstacles and challenges, but in the long run it has made us stronger.

Peace, love and harmony!

When I am 6, mom...

2009-08-06T10:31:00.001-05:00

Will you peel my skin off of me?

That is always the best sentence to greet you first thing in the morning. I assume he is talking about his peeling skin on his feet. Can someone please explain why children's feet always peel? Are they like snakes and shed skin as they grow? should I get ready for another obnoxious shoe purchase and hit to my wallet in the near future?

It is rubbing off on him.

2009-08-04T15:46:00.003-05:00

My sense of humor that is.

My husband, Jason, called me Friday while I was in Michigan and said he hit a pot hole really hard and the tire was going flat. So he took it to where he bought said tires. The tire people looked at the tire and said it is fine, but your wheel is bent. We have to send it in to get remolded. Jason is like fine. Okay understand the car is undriveable with no wheel part, right.

So I come home so he can have the green machine aka the minivan. He gets a phone call yesterday at work saying the wheel is not bent but indeed cracked. Okay get a new wheel. Then Jason gets a call today saying the car is ready. Jason gets a co-worker to take him to get the car. Jason notices the car is sitting in the bay up in the air.

Here is the gem of their talk:
Jason: I was called about my car but why is it in the air?
Sales guy: Oh you needed just the tire right?
Jason: No I needed a new wheel and was told my car is ready
Sales guy: Oh we can't find your tire.
Jason: Ohhhh-kaaaaaaaaay
Sales dude: We looked all over for it and we can't find it. Did you leave the tire here?
Jason: I left the whole car here.
Sales Dude: oh well we might have to order you a new tire,, b/c we can't find it.

about this time I have tears running down my face from this conversation....did you leave the tire here, I left the whole car here. Oh my some people are really that dumb!

Sunday Afternoon Drives

2009-08-03T03:22:00.002-05:00

So Jacob and I are jamming in the car to The Refreshments....if you don't know them you ought to youtube the group.....too bad they broke up in the 90s but the singer went and formed his own group called Roger Clyne and The Peacemakers....you think I was a groupie of his with this shameless plug. The dude's music is awesome to me!

Anyway, Mekong is streaming through the green machine (nickname for the minivan-it sounds cooler) so here is goes

Jacob-Hey mom, you got those nail clippers in here?

Me-Nope, why?

Jacob-well my fingers are looking a little girly and I am not digging them.

Me-okay will work on them when we get home

Jacob-we better, because I do not like these long nails on me, I am a boy MOM!

Me-well then you better not pitch a fit when I try to cut them.

Jacob-I won't mommy.

He proceeds to obsess over his nails for the next hour. We arrive home and he totally forgets about said "girly" nails to play with Legos.

My Absence

2009-07-31T19:44:00.002-05:00

My kids and I are visiting the parents up in Michigan. Will write/blog when I get home.

Facebook....and their "fun" little games

2009-07-21T02:00:00.003-05:00

Another distraction in my day of being a busy CEO of my domain. Seriously, I got facebook years ago and much like Myspace.....neglected it. Then one day a friend said I should play Mafia Wars....we will not mention this Shannon person......so I installed it and was like okay now what? This nameless Shannon person said do jobs, buy property and attack people to make money. I was like I can take my aggression out on random faceless/nameless people? She said yes. I was like yes! Me thinks that first day I leveled up to 5 and had a 200k in my account, then I ran out of energy. So I found another game, Vampire Wars, same concept-but vamps. Cool level up and run out of energy, find farmville-damn shit on crack this game. Plant and harvest.....easy at canned cheese. But the mother of all games that I am addicted to on this facebook is Farkle.

Farkle I hate you very much, but you hate me as well, I can tell in the dice you throw down to me. You throw me 2 ones and the next roll give me nothing useful and make me farkle. Yet, I continue to play you and try to conquer your little game. You think you can beat me but you won't. I will get you soon enough and then victory shall be mine. Please Farkle Gods could you like give me 6 ones at once. That would be like far out and funky tight.

How to tell you been married a long ass time!

2009-07-16T23:10:00.004-05:00

The kids are at grandma's house and your husband of 10 years in playing the Wii and you are surfing the internet instead of having living room sex in the kid-free house; which might not happen again for another 5-6 months at least if not longer.

Why does Sleep elude me?

2009-07-14T02:30:00.002-05:00

I need to go to bed. I get tired; but as soon as I lie me down to sleep, I become wide awake. WHY??????

I am pretty active during the day-albeit I don't excerise like a fiend, but am active. I maintain a house, tend to 2 very active children, run errands. I even avoid taking a siesta during the day thinking this will help me sleep in my bed, but nothing. I even stop drinking caffeine in the afternoon, I drink milk, water or sugar free juice.

The best place I sleep at is on the couch after 3am.

I just want to sleep like a normal woman with her husband in their bed and not on the couch!

I NEED HELP!

Nasty.......

2009-07-12T01:33:00.003-05:00

I have been having major writers block and a horrible case of insomnia. Sucks nasty.

On the subject of Nasty. I have a list of nasty stuff that I have encountered in my short time on Planet Earth.

1-Liver sausage. I know this is big in Europe and else where and I won't be doing my German heritage proud by knocking this crap, but please.....nasty.

2-Lima Bean-sicknast to the most. Yucky icky gross little green beans that are freakishly dry and bland tasting. Yes I tried and they would not go down my throat. I even tried to chase them down with chocolate milk-they refused to budge off my tongue. I did not savor them very much

3-Pepsi Natural-major yucko-hello my pop should never contain apple juice in it. Which is what it tastes like pour apple juice and pepsi in a cup and drink it. Nasty Nasty

4-Beets-OMG the smell is nasty to me, the texture-hello slime. um no.

5-Cottage cheese with Peaches in it. Um plain ass gross....chunky and slimy all mixed together for major gross fest.

6-Any Hamburger Helper-I call this Shit in a box and add meat. It might have to do with the fact when I did work and come home late, this is all the hubby knew how to make and I grew tired of it.

7-Chef Boyardee-crap in a can....the smell is nasty. Will only eat if there is a food emergency-meaning there is no food in house and I am starving and all I can find to eat is this crap in a can.

8-Bitter tasting coffee that can be downed no matter how much cream and sugar is poured into it.

9-Cranberries....I do not like them at all, the taste-bitter, the texture-blech.

10-I am a steak girl. I love a good juicy thick medium rare steak and there has to be marbling in the meat to give it flavor. Please do not try to feed me london broil and call it good or a flank steak and say it is savory. Please give me filet mignons, rib eyes, NY strips or prime rib.

yes I have tried all the above much to my displeasure.

Twitter knows me today

2009-07-03T20:53:00.002-05:00

You may feel quite talkative today, yet still want to be left alone. You aren't up for the noise of too much social interaction and would do well to avoid parties and other gatherings of large groups of people. You would do better now in a meaningful one-on-one conversation with someone who seeks you out, rather than trying to be accepted by a club or a clique.....

I think the planet of Uranus and Earth are ~~mis~~ aligned for once, b/c all I feel like is my anus is taking a foot slamming with crap that has been unloaded on me.

It is strange that this is exactly how I feel today. I want to be near people, but please refrain from talking/looking/breathing on me. I appreciate it. I warned my kids that mommy was in a pissy mode today-I gave them warning and they took a smart route and stayed in their rooms most of day and left me alone, expect for food.

My Washing Machine Adventures.

2009-07-03T00:12:00.006-05:00

So I was doing laundry last week-it had to be done, I ran out of my 21st pair of undies. So as I was unloading I noticed my carpet is wet. WTF? My laundry room is upstairs (I love that all bedrooms are near machine) and the drain/overflow bin that goes under the washer is full. I am like WTH? So I grab dirty towels to soak up water and try to dry carpet. My father in law comes over to help me empty this pan. We get it was drained and I find mucho crap under machine-ie toys. I am like okay whatev. I turn machine on again and overflow pan starts to fill up. Call Whirlpool and schedule service to machine. I called Monday morning, scheduled appt for first available which is Thursday. Ok.

Take clothing stock-decide we aren't going anywhere and the week will be known as pajama week.

Service guy comes out and takes apart the machine. What does he find? That the pump has a crack in it. Okay-now remember this machine is less than 2 years old. Then he holds up this little fucking gem of what caused the crack . I am like how in the hell does a coin go internal and cause havoc? He is like check your pockets-I do this-okay not all the time, but you think a coin will never make it past the little drain holes. So then he is like do you want me to fix the machine? Um no, please put it back broken I enjoy not doing laundry. Really I hate doing laundry, but I am not a overpaid celebrity and has the luxury to buy new clothes everyday.

Then he is all done and ran a diagnostic on the machine, and some P51 code came up and apparently this fucking gem of a washing machine by Whirlpool is not your standard motor-nope it is run my fucking magnets??????? And that code is to sense where magnets are and it will eventually stop working. I am like Whirlpool wants to fuck me in my ass, huh? Yes I really said this to the service man-I mean a piece of shit motor that is ripped apart by a fucking nickel c'mon!!!!! I told hubby about this and since we don't have luxury of shopping for new washer, he is like fix it and get extended warranty on it. I think hubby really wanted clean underwear-i kept telling him to turn them inside out.....it works as long as there aren't shit tracks present. LOL....he really thinks I am nuts for telling him that.

The hubby was all thrilled to the basket full of boxer briefs on his bed to be put away when he got home from work.

The Chocolate Muffin Incident

2009-06-22T00:13:00.004-05:00

So I made Chocolate muffins the other day. They are your basic, open the box add egg and milk and drop by spoonfuls try not to eat the batter raw muffins. I cooked according to box.....I took them out and kids were screaming for them. I told them they had to wait to cool down. So my chocolate loving son went upstairs got the mobile fan and moved the stool over to the outlet near stove, plugged it in and turned it on by muffins. 2.3 seconds later comes to me and asks if this will help?

Apparently, he had to test the muffin out before it was cool as evidenced by the finger dent in bottom right hand corner of muffin pan. The fan really did help cool muffin down to consume all 12 by 2 kids in 6 minutes flat. I wouldn't know if they were good-I got none.

Cubs and Birds!

2009-06-14T22:52:00.004-05:00

My house bleeds blue and red in the spring, summer and early fall. We are die hard Cubs fans, no if ands or butts about it. So we played the MN Twins and Twins won Friday and Saturday, the odds of the Cubbies winning was low. Jason was worried we were going to view a losing game. Well we got all decked out in our Cubbies shirts and hats and away we went! We arrived and watched the Twins score the first run...oh no...this is never good. Then the Cubs went and scored in the 4th....whew...tied game. Do potty run with kids miss an entire inning.

Side note I took Jacob (my 5 year old) to the bathroom and some vendor started yelling at me, b/c I was taking my kid to the men's bathroom and I told him I am explaining to my kid that I will be right out here and he needs to go in there by himself. This hotdog vendor gives me the nastiest look ever and mumbles shut the door, she is going to look at men's dicks. Um yeah....I get my rocks off on men peeing. Whatev, asshat.

Then in the 8th inning, there is a foul ball near me, but the balls goes on the roof and scares some of these: I then proceeded to get shit on and I am thinking getting shit on by a sea gull is never a good thing. The 8th and top of 9th inning go by no score. I am thinking if my Cubs lose I am going to shot me some birds, for shitting on me. Jason laughed at me, Jacob was freaking out cause he got some seagull shit on him as well.

Then the bottom of the 9th and the bases are loaded. My Man Ryan Theriot-he is HOT-is up to bat! He hits a line drive to bring in a run to win the game! OMG the crowd was wild, Jason, the man that is calm and collected and rarely shows emotion is up on his feet screaming. I am screaming and we all singing Go Cubs Go. What a great game! This is why we are Die hard Cub fans! We never give up hope.

My Anniversary Present

2009-06-13T07:07:00.003-05:00

Jason and I have been married 10 years yesterday. We are celebrating today. He got me a little ceramic figurine of Precious Moments with a 10 embossed on it. Mushy yes.

Then he got us tickets to see Blue Man Group and then Dinner at Harry Carey's in Chicago. He even arranged a babysitter.

PS22

2009-06-12T23:02:00.005-05:00

I follow Ashton Kutcher on Twitter and he turned me on to this choir in NYC PS22. Check them out and their videos. They are fantastic and this is why music needs to stay in school. Music is what bonds us....it doesn't know language barriers, everyone can bond over beats and lyrics.

Conversations with Baboons

2009-06-09T22:12:00.002-05:00

So we went to the zoo today. I love the baboon exhibit. I always have, I think it is the sophomoric feeling of knowing I can look at the red butts and make jokes and it is socially acceptable. So we were there and the baboons were hanging out. Well one starts to dig in the other ones fur and I told Demi see they are looking for bugs. She starts giggling. I said wait they are going to eat whatever they find and sure as poop they eat what they found off the baboon they were grooming.

Then we notice one baboon was lying on his back holding its leg up in the air and the another baboon was examining its butt. This is when I could no longer contain myself and had 4 children in hysterical laughing fits. I said look that baboon is checking its butt out and it is going to find poop and eat it and sure enough the baboon proved me right and ate some poop and then I think the baboon understood me and looked at me and smiled. OMG the kids were rolling with laughter and I kept the comments going about this poop bit. Then another baboon was walking and sat down and stared at me and we had a conversation about poop. I asked it poop tasted good, the baboon smiled at me, I asked how the baboon was doing today and he smiled at me, I asked why is his butt always red and he smiled at me and then went back to groom the other baboon's butt and eat its poop.

This is why humans evolved and baboons didn't!!!!

I ♥ the zoo!

The summer is approaching

2009-06-07T02:39:00.003-05:00

and my kids are bored. They have bikes, scooters, jump ropes, bats, mitts, sidewalk chalk-in 3D mind you, they have endless barbies/bratz, trains, cars, star wars toys, balls, movies, leapsters, computers, gaming systems and they are bored! I don't think my liver will ever be able to handle 12 weeks of my kids saying they are bored.

Oh sidenote, I am a horrible mom according to my oldest. Saturday the 6th was scout day at Great America and well the GS troop leader didn't mention anything until this past Tuesday. So anyway, I thought to myself, well I can take her in regular no big deal. I went looking at Great America and it is $55/person to get in and $15 to park your car. I think that is a rip off, it is not like someone is actually babysitting my car and I think the blacktop is already paid for, farkers, I quickly keep my mouth mumm it would be $125 to just enter the gate. Then there is food she will want and drinks and games and endless hours of standing in line. So if this GS leader would have told us last week, we could have went for $30 a person....so 2 tickets at $30 and $15 parking=a tad more reasonable to Cathie. So yeah I am the worst mother ever and I never want my daughter to be happy in life.

Then my son got invited to a birthday party and he is going. I told the oldest she can't go, it is a party with 5/6 year old BOYS! That is strike 2 on the score card. I also tell her she needs to change clothes and that is strike 3.

I am the worst mother ever according to her!

My son on the other hand thinks I Rock and he tell me that alot!

I think it is an age thing. She is 8 almost 19 and he is 5 almost never turning 6.

My promise to myself that I am breaking

2009-06-03T23:56:00.007-05:00

So deal with it!

I told myself one night in conversation with my random brain thoughts to post no more Twilight and The Cullen Men on my blog, the other non-Twilight obsessed people might not like it. I have done well, I am not getting rid of the music though. The hubby refuses to load it on my ipod. Bastid!

Anyhoo.....I need to post this one picture. Just one and no less....maybe more in the future.

Okay it is the future now! YAY Sorry: I don't know a sweaty man is so very nice to look at. I need my sodium intake to make my cells work right and my muscles to stop quivering. . Lickable sweat is what this man has. OMG-naughty naughty thoughts. Kthanksbye. stop staring at his ass and sweat. LOL!

How to know you are having a shitty day

2009-06-02T11:20:00.002-05:00

Your bangs will not curl even after you have sworn at them and banged your curling iron against your marble vanity, then cursed at your hairdresser and her too happy snip snip scissors leaving you with 4 inch long bangs.

My own Cake Wreck

2009-05-31T09:06:00.005-05:00

Lets talk about this cake...it is all sorts of wrong.

My grandma got this cake for my brother, Jim. She ordered a chocolate chip cookie cake and that is what she picked up (see picture above)

Note the obvious Jim in gel icing and not buttercream and the wiped off icing underneath his name. The thumbprint in the balloon and messed up white thingys. The writing is all sorts of messed up. Not even spacing in the words-look at all the empty space at the bottom. Still didn't stop people from eating the cake after we all had a good laugh and pictures were taken. Have you seen the website Cake Wrecks? If not you must-gives you a great ab workout.

Track Record

2009-05-30T21:00:00.004-05:00

I love to cook, really I do; but I am known as a klutz in the kitchen. I have started fires when I broke my finger and spilled nail polish remover on the counter top near open flames. Take heed of those warning-it was a huge fire ball. The top wasn't on all the way on the nail polish remover. I have dropped and broke boiling pots of water.....spilled countless things all over the kitchen. I am surprised I have not been banned from the kitchen! Well I know why I have not been banned from kitchen; it would mean Jason would have to cook and we know he won't make a proper meal unless you want pizza 7 nights a week.

Anyway, my latest misadventures in the kitchen involved me cooking spaghetti. The prep itself was kosher. All was going well UNTIL I went to clean up the kitchen and removed the pan from over the burner.......this is what I uncover:

What is it you ask? Well it is none other than melted black pen. That truly was a bitch to clean up off my stove. I think I went through 2 paper towel rolls, ceramic stovetop cleaner and a non-scratch scrubbie to get all the ink off. It didn't help that is was hot and I had to move fast to clean it all up before it cooled off.
This further proves that I am not and never will be Martha Stewart in the kitchen.

Only I would do this!

2009-05-26T20:30:00.004-05:00

See this picture? It is William Penn on City Hall Building. Take a picture-check!

Then get told by fellow Philly native that William Penn is in a very revealing pose and to zoom in. I do as I am told and start laughing at what zoom reveals!

Yeah I am that person! He is holding his "gun"

I am not a Philly Native or a building name knower and I edited.

I am home

2009-05-26T12:12:00.003-05:00

I had a blast seeing my girls, drinks were consumed, little sleep was had, laughs were shared, memories were made!

I am tired, but it was worth it! I meet lots of new people in Philly as well. South street is fun! Let me tell you what! All sorts of interesting people to see and hear. I am glad I was able to go.

My Mother's day present!

2009-05-22T00:18:00.002-05:00

I wanted a purse, I think Jason might have gotten me it, but then I found the best present of all! I am going on a road trip to see a little band that goes by the name of 100 Monkeys. This trip was suppose to take place in NJ, then it got bumped to a suburb of Philly and now it is in Philly! I secured tickets, secured hotel room, got traveling food, good music and good company!!!

I am road tripping with 2 other friends and meeting 6 more in Philly to rock the weekend away.

Isn't my hubby the best ever? Letting me hang out with some great friends and drink and be a party girl. WOOT WOOT! Alcohol will most likely be consumed in large quantities. Pictures will be taken, my morals will be shot that I am in fact not innocent, but I am going to have a grand time!

Thank Jason for the best Mom's Day present ever! Love you!

She cracks me up!

2009-05-17T23:45:00.005-05:00

Demi and I went out to the mall on Saturday and we ventured into Hot Topic! ♥ that store!

We were browsing the store and she sees a shirt and says mom you should so do this with your hair-the spikey haired on! I am like oh you want me to do Tokio Hotel hair? She is like how do you know all this stuff? You are so goth!

How does my 8 year old k (now what goth is? HAHAHA!

She must do Rain Dances!

2009-05-15T11:24:00.002-05:00

I am convinced she does them on Sunday/Tuesday/Thursday nights. She goes outside in her jammies around midnight and asks for rain on the days she has softball games. There is no other explanation as to why it is raining on M/W/F since softball season has started.

If you have other theories let me hear them, so far this is the only that makes sense.

Lost in Translation

2009-05-13T00:31:00.002-05:00

So the boy and I decide to eat at Taco Bell for lunch. It is his favorite restaurant behind McDs and Olive Garden!

We went with some friends and the boys were picking out swivel chairs while the mommies ordered food and yelling at them to stop swiveling the chair that sounds like nails across the chalkboard. That warning encouraged more of said chair swiveling.

So it is my turn to place the taco order. I ask for a number 6 (2 chapulas and a taco) and 2 soft regular tacos. The cashier says beef, steak, chicken, I say beef supreme. Then he says I have a number 6 with an additional taco-mind you I can't understand his Spanglish. I told him no a number 6 WITH 2 more soft tacos. He says you know that comes with a taco? I said I know AND I WANT 2 more tacos. Then he replies so you want 2 tacos total? Now I am getting upset. I am like I want to order 2 additional tacos....wishing now I took Spanish in High school to order the number 6 AND 2 more tacos. Then he starts shaking his head at me-like I am the fucking idiot that can't understand him. Finally, he is like you want a number 6 and a 2 extra tacos? BINGO!!!!!

Then my friend-who is awesome btw-says this is why America needs to set one standard language, so we can order fast food easily.

My son ate all three tacos! The man must have thought the fat woman was going to eat all the food!

Does sleep elude you as well?

2009-05-11T02:37:00.007-05:00

I have so much trouble sleeping lately. I don't nap during the day

I cut out caffeine. Not helping me-I think I am naturally high strung.

I have a theory to my sleeplessness. Wanna read about it?

Is is 1 of 2 things or both. Not sure yet.

It could be these burning my retinas
------------------------>

I was on line shopping while chatting with some slappers of mine
and we looked up Torrid-it is the fat girl sister store of Hot Topic. They are selling these lovely little numbers as skinny jeans! I am
sorry, but talk about oxymoron! Fat girls NEED NOT wear
skinny jeans. It is 50 things wrong! Skinny jeans are for skinny
people-like Jonas Brothers or KStew. Hello imagine Roseanne
Barr is that little number. Upchuck a little did ya? I thought
so.

The retina burning caused me to forget theory 2.

Or I could show you something my colorblind hubby would pick out for me to wear! I am going to show you any way b/c it is wrong as well. I am not liking the 80s neon fashion going on. It was cool when I was 13 and skinny, not 32 and a fat frumpy housewife!
|
|
------------------------> colorblind at work!

I love the blue pants! The orange shirt and
bright yellow shoes! Yup a colorblind person
assembled this outfit!

Theory two hit me. Twilight fanfiction. I never meant to read it, I never meant to like it, I didn't want to. But these people write where SM left off, most tell of what they think should have happened on Isle Esme and afterwards, some offshot Jacob and Renesmee, some are Alice and Jasper. Some are really good-nothing at all what so ever of Twilight. Yes same characters, but they are all humans. I am also trying to limit my fanfiction reading to 1 (ok 5) chapters a day. The smut is good. Hubby doesn't mind. Math coming up: Smut+ me reading it=happy satisfied hubby!

Now I am going to go to bed and try this sleep thing.

LOLOLOL!!!!

2009-05-09T19:56:00.001-05:00

I love this video! Gets me everytime!

Time is flying right past me!

2009-05-07T23:35:00.002-05:00

<-----see that boy. Cute yes? He is starting kindergarten in the fall.
Where did my baby boy go to?

He is so excited to go to school full time and eat lunch with all his buddies and play on the playground and be in the same school as his sister. He could hardly contain his excitement when we went to kindergarten round-up to get his registration packet.

Everything he does is bittersweet for me, b/c he is my baby and the hours are flying past me.

My Bad!

2009-05-04T14:04:00.002-05:00

I tried these on my teeth. Mistake in the making! I grind my teeth and apparently when you do this-you make your teeth weak. Well you do. I wore away the enamel. So, I put these strips on and freaking Hades is truly sadistic motherfarker....I couldn't rip them off fast enough. The bleach hitting my enamel weakened teeth not good. I felt the burn for hours after. I threw this shit away! I must learn to love not so pearly whites!

New Term Just for Men

2009-04-30T21:40:00.003-05:00

Today my 5 year old son wanted to snuggle with me. I told him to give me one minute. I guess he must have waited 2-3 minutes and I arrive at the couch and see his face. I asked him what is the matter, he replies my eyes are sweating.

So in essence he has learned to not cry but to sweat from his eyes!

So starts this softball season

2009-04-29T14:24:00.002-05:00

My daughter has decided she wants to play softball. Cool we sign her up!

Well she has games 3 days a week and practices on the open days! Why was I never told of this craziness? The games start at 545pm and practices are at 5pm....right in the middle of our dinner time. I guess I will be brown bagging it to the games, here in the sticks of country land there is no junk food chains. Really, who thought of this schedule crap?

I do have to restrain myself from yelling at her to keep her eyes on the ball and not be afraid of the ball. We shall see how I do on that!

Then in June starts T-Ball for the little man. Add more craziness to my life!

In 45 days

2009-04-28T01:29:00.006-05:00

I will be married to my best friend, my lover, my life, my husband, for 10 years. We have spent 10 wonderful years together, I will not lie and say there were all roses and bliss. No, those first few years were the hardest, then we had a good patch going and then I was tested in my love for him when I had to take care of him as he was dependent on me after his car accident. That was the hardest year of my marriage for me personally.

I was humbled by that experience. I was fine when he was in the hospital and the thing I was most scared about was not the scars or the incisions that ruined his lovely legs; but cleaning up the commode. Yes, I have no problem cleaning up commodes of the sick, but it entirely different to clean up after your husband and knowing you were doing it out of love and loyalty and a sense of duty because you made vows to each other. Yes, I will be honest there were times, I so didn't want to clean out his commode....especially when he had C.Diff (nasty nasty little stomach bug-don't get it like ever), but I kept repeating those vows....like on the shampoo bottle-lather, rinse, repeat. That was my mantra for a long time: in sickness and in health, Cathie, in sickness and in health, Cathie.....etc.

I have seen him accomplish so much this past year. I am so proud to be his wife. He stood my me when I was battling postpartum depression, when I am manic and spend too much money, when I am depressed and he gets up with the kids to let me lie in our bed and sleep the whole day away. He just gets me and he knows by looking at me, when I am off. He knows me. He lets me be me. I am a very silly person and he tolerates me when I do embarrassing stuff in public, when I talk to everyone under the sun. He lets me shine in my own way. I can be myself around him, he lets me follow my dreams-no matter how wild they are. He is happiest sitting at home, watching tv and holding me in his arms loving on me. I truly love the man with all my heart and soul-he even lets me be a little teenage girl when talking about Twilight and crush and giggle about all the actors played by them-he says he would choose me over and over again. No matter what our life turns out to be, he wants and desires me.

Many people have commented on the way he looks at me when I am not paying attention. They tell me it is an intense, deep, sensual stare. I have never seen it, but I love looking into his eyes.

I have been thinking about this important anniversary a lot lately. I want to get him something special to show my love for him, but I can't think of anything cool. I just don't know what to get him.....ideas.

More Vacation Pictures.

2009-04-25T20:38:00.007-05:00

There are no water park pictures! One being: there will be no actual proof that Cathie was in a bathing suit....hello I look like this ! Two: there was no where to put said camera and I didn't want it stolen. Third: I am not sure how well humidity and camera do together. Are they like oil and water?

So anyway here are some.

Can't decide between mustard yellow or really bad diarrhea paint color.

Jacob's new way of sitting on couch.

Breakfast at Paul Buyons! The kids really enjoyed eating breakfast here!

Later I will add some park pictures and some mini golf. I realize there are no pictures of me ever being on this vacaction.

Satisfying Saturday

2009-04-25T13:04:00.001-05:00

This is a picture I took my family as they were talking to a family of fish below this bridge. They were wondering why the fish family was swimming upstream. I liked this picture, I might get it framed. They were unaware I was behind them and so they weren't being silly and showing off their butts or something worse.

Friday Footsie

2009-04-24T03:54:00.005-05:00

I hate feet, but yet I feel compelled to take pictures of my kids feet. I remember kissing those feet when they came out of the womb, counting 10 toes, smelling them, looking in awe at how little those feet were. Buying their first shoes, helping them take their first steps towards independence. Seeing my children taste their feet after getting their vaccines. Remembering giving both kids their first dreaded toenail trim and breaking sweat as they fought me in said trimming. Tickling the feet and hearing the ensuing laughter coming from them. The really good genuine laughter. The kind that swells your heart and warms your soul.

All kids feet are neat. Adults feet-especially males-are kinda nasty. Thank Goodness woman get manicures. We make our feet look pretty!

500

2009-04-24T02:06:00.003-05:00

I got 500 hundred profile views! Thanks a million people! I started this blog out as a way to talk about things on my mind and to better my typing skills. I know I am not one of those bigger blogger people, but that is fine with me! The ones that follow me think I am funny, so I thank you for following me and commenting and laughing. I have come along way in my writing style.

I am suffering from insomnia something terrible. Oh well, such is life!

Have a fantastic day, more vacation/family pictures to follow!

LOVE YOUS!

Vacation Pictures!

2009-04-23T01:40:00.004-05:00

Our living room!

Everywhere I go there is a kitchen I am expected to cook in EVEN on my vacation!!!

Since I am not one of those crazy pocket Edward/Action figure carrying Twilighters, I have the next best thing-a blanket! Yes, Edward has now been to Wisonsin Dells! He was lonely during the day waiting until I returned home to make food for the family. He didn't want to dazzle all the females in the water park with his hotness. He could have made his damn scrambled eggs though. That would have been nice!

More to follow, I am tired and sleepy. See you all on the flipside!

Why I Drink

2009-04-22T20:21:00.002-05:00

I pick up Demi from school and she greets me with her attitude. Lovely!
She asks for a tuna and I tell her no. She doesn't need to eat tuna when dinner is 2 hours away. She throws her tantrum in the van for a good 10 minutes about how hungry she is! Boo-hoo cry me a river.

I take a peek in her lunchbox and notice that the chips, fruit cup and juice box is gone and her sandwich is untouched. I tell her this is why you are not getting tuna and why you are hungry, you didn't eat your lunch. You ate the junk. More tantrum throwing time.

Then I tell her she has a book report to do. Granted I tell her everyday that she needs to read this book, she chooses to not read and acts all surprise when I tell her it is due tomorrow. She pitches a fit over that. She has had this book for 2 weeks, I don't feel for her.

Now it is 5pm and we drop off my van and then all of us run to the store to get pop. I am stocking up on wine coolers-I am going to need them me thinks. Jason decides to take the scenic route home and the kids are in the back screaming we are hungry. Fun! Put on ipod and turn up Lady GaGa. Demi then complains she can hear my music. GRRRR....

Get home and ask everyone what the want for dinner and I get 3 collective 'I don't know' and I answer this is why I am drinking. They finally decide on cheeseburgrs and fries. Then I make it. Jacob decides he is not going to eat. I am at my whatever fuck it point and chug down my wine cooler.

That is my night. Can I get a do over afternoon?

I am very competitive

2009-04-22T00:03:00.002-05:00

I can't help it. I need to win at everything I do. I am on a message board and every month there is a sign up for most posts in a month. I won it in March and I am on track to win it in April. Then on this same board there is a hangman game. A new game has been posted 3 times and I have won it all three times.

I don't even let up when playing board games with my own kids. I have to win, I am sorry kids if I make you cry. One day you will understand.

Now if I was on Biggest Loser I might feel compelled to lose this blasted weight, but it will never happen. For the following reasons: 1) I am not going on national tv where MILLIONS upon MILLIONS of people can see my weight. I don't even own a scale!
2) People I know will watch the show to see how I do, b/c I am a chatterbox and will blab that my fat ass will be on tv. 3) I will cry if I get kicked off the show b/c I did not win. 4)the camera adds 10 pounds and I am fat enough already 5) I might fail. This is my biggest fear, i tell you this competitive thing is a sickness. So if I just don't do it, then I can't lose and I can remain happy!

my kids crack me up!

2009-04-20T16:55:00.001-05:00

Demi likes to surf the internet. She has a grand old time and she frequents this site a lot...totallylookslike. Well she is cracking up and can barely breathe and I ask her what is so funny and she says this is hilarious mommy! This is what cracks her up!
Jacob was rolling as well. Then I started laughing b/c they were laughing!

It takes so little to amuse us!

Another ingrained Child habit

2009-04-20T08:53:00.002-05:00

All children have this ingrained since the first day of kindergarten.....

School days-children refuse to wake up before 730am
Weekends they are up and screaming at 6am
Breaks and holidays-up and and screaming at each other before 6am.
Summer vacation-phuck it you better never sleep. They never go to sleep and if they do they wake up at 5am when the damn rooster crows.

Why Periods are Never Happy!

2009-04-19T22:33:00.002-05:00

I hate the slogan from Always...."Have a Happy Period" To which I say to the male ad executives (b/c menstruating women don't think up that crazy shit-we know it ain't happy) Fuck you!

What is so freaking happy about a period? You freaking bleed (in my case on average 7-9 days) and you freaking soak the pad (sometimes in an hour) and leak all over your pants and the seat you are sitting in so that everyone else in the world knows that you have the 'special' woman moment.

You are a hormonal mess....the sound of everyone voice gyrates on your nerves. You want to tell them to shut the fuck up and then they keep on talking.....remember menstrual murder might not fly in court unless it is a woman judge that is also on her period at the time of sentencing. Decide the next best course of action is to blog your thoughts about menstrual murder that you want to commit on your husband. He will never understand when you tell him to shut the fuck up you actually mean him to shut the fuck up. He keeps on talking and you start crying. Then he states 'still on your period, huh? So no sex for me tonight?'

Um no you smart fucking man, no sex for you ever and tears are spilling down your cheeks, b/s he just keeps moving that mouth of his. His solution is to take Midol and get over it.

Another of my favorite Commericals

2009-04-17T16:34:00.001-05:00

Dude-the hamsters bopping their heads! Seriously funny.

I am home!

2009-04-17T10:14:00.000-05:00

I did it! I went 4 days without the internet! It was hard but I did it. I went into delirium tremors on Monday. I had no xanax/valium/alcohol to help me through this hard time in my life.

I think Jason lied to me about the resort not having internet to prevent me from bringing my laptop and stalking RP and all Twilight all day long. I think he actually WANTED me to spend family time with him and his children. I wanted to kill them after 2 hours of no internet. Not really, but I did spend time with them. We did the indoor waterparks, the Wisconsin Original Ducks, Go-Karting and Roller coaster ridees.

He did bring his laptop and he found the internet and wouldn't share it with me. He said it was for my own good. bastid!

Must not forget these!

2009-04-11T20:02:00.003-05:00

So my daughter in her anxiety state comes down and says 'mommy, WE CAN'T FORGET TO PACK THIS ITEM.' In her hands are what she calls butt wipes! Those moist flushable wipes. LOL. I told if you are so worried about not forgetting then pack them in your suitcase!!! Her father then chimes in and says trust me Demi, We won't foget them.

It is always a good time when toilet talk in involved! Got to have that fresh butt feeling all day long!

To which I say Good Grief!

Twittering

2009-04-10T13:12:00.003-05:00

I am now twittering.....it is yet another way for me to not get crap done.

I like writing random things such as Never serve rice from a slotted spoon. Watching Sesame Street, The kids opened the blinds and is letting the sunshine in and I all I see is how dirty the windows are!

I spent the mandatory 20 minutes searching for celebrities and I realize that some of them are very very funny.

So if you twitter add me! I am DeJaStar.

Happy Friday

2009-04-10T11:07:00.002-05:00

I love this picture. It is Demi meeting Jacob for the first time. She was very shocked that baby actually came out of me.

Happy Easter everyone in blog land.

I forgot to take a Picture!

2009-04-09T12:44:00.003-05:00

This has nothing to do with RP. Nothing at all. It actually has to do with our environment and my wallet!

I decided after hoarding the pop/beer cans in the garage for well over a year, I should take them to a recycling center to get some money.

I think I had 9 full garbage bags full to the brim. The total weight was 66 pounds of empty pop and beer cans. Guess what it yielded me? 23 freaking measly dollars! WTF is that? I told Jason it is just not worth it to hoard cans. But on the bright side it was not hard to earn, maybe we can do a fast food dinner for our family of 4!!!!!

This one deserves a picture!

2009-04-08T22:52:00.004-05:00

Sorry again Rob if you are reading! Seriously we aren't obsessed Slappers. Really we are mature women that just want to shag you. Please help us out. If you knock any of us up, you won't be required to pay child support as long as we keep shagging! Deal? Kthanxstayinmybed! Again ♥ Cathie!

Dear Rob,

Oh, how I do love thee,

Please make love to me.

I don't care if you stink,

I'll bathe you - *wink, wink*.

From your luscious lips,

to your sexy hips,

I can't help but stare

I'll kiss you everywhere.

Your in my dreams nightly,

In which you hold me tightly.

Oh, Rob, your the hottest hot,

And I love when you kiss that spot.

Oh, wait, that's my fantasy,

Sigh...this is what you do to me.

I can't ever even concentrate,

You must be my soul-mate.

No, I'm not some crazy girl-fan,

But you are one fine, fine man.

You can come to me anytime,

My hubby won't even mind.

Because you are my free-pass,

So, come and bring that sexy ass!

Hugs and Kisses,

Me (she goes by Felicia)

Rob I have another one

2009-04-08T20:51:00.002-05:00

This one is from a good slapper friend. We are using British Slang just for you to show our devotion.

Dear Rob,

I ♥ you! I promise I won't stalk you ...but..can I have your baby? Really, you should feel lucky because I tell everyone lese "No". LOL and I'm starting to feel sexually deprived though and after reading Wide Awake (which, you really should read) Yeah well. I decided having your baby might be fun. I'll still ♥ you even if you say no...but...."pretty please".

~Slapper Sara

I am sure I will have more letter to follow!

Rob visits me!

2009-04-08T12:45:00.005-05:00

My Dearest Rob,

Thank you for your continued interest in my blog. I read in a magazine that you google yourself and I know that is how you stumbled upon me. I know you enjoy looking at hot pictures of yourself as much as I do. Please feel free to keep coming back and reading my words of wisdom. I am not a crazy stalkerish woman, but I can't resist staring at you for hours on end. My friends and I have coined a term in regards to you and what you do to our girl action bits: hiney tingles. That is a very good thing, Rob. TRUST!

Oh and thank you for not giving up acting and sharing your talents with me. I appreciate the work you do and you do it so well, I might add. I know you are working very hard on being Edward so please continue to visit my blog in your spare time. I wish you would put an album out of your music, I would so buy that and not think you were doing it for the money. Please you can read my blog under lurking status and not leave a comment-I understand that you want to be incognito. Your secret is safe with me.

I did ask for help from my friends for writing you a thank you letter. I will include them here!
This one is short and sweet
Dear Rob,
Thank you for stopping by and reading my blog. I knew one day my animal like yearning for you would reach you. Please come again, and again...

Love,

Cathie and DYK Slappers.

Or this one is very naughty and short....I don't think you are a short man, but very dirty and likes adventurous sex:
"Dear Rob: Thanks for reading my blog. I like taking it in the backdoor. Just sayin'. Call me."

Here is another one:

Dear Rob

I love you. Actually I love Edward. So when you come over if you could come dressed in part...I promise you, you won't be sorry.

Love; Jenny

P.S. Bring the Volvo....

Here is one from my friend Lori:

Dear Rob,

I'm so glad you found Cathie's blog. Please don't be afraid that we are crazy stalkerish Twilight freaks. We won't hurt you...unless you want us to, of course.

We all really just want to have lots of sex with you. We don't mind being bitten. In fact, we like it. If you sing for us, we'll do all sorts of nasty things for you.

P.S. Rob, we just want sex with you and will not ask that you us pregnant or demand your time. Biting is always a good thing when it is done by you. Please feel free to leave bite marks all over us. We are very strong independent smart women. We earn our own money and we are all good. We can be aloof as much as you need us to be, we understand that you are busy.
PSS - or simply jizz in a baggy and send it our way,

Sincerely.

DYK Slappers.
Thanks for reading.

My Sweet Darling Demi

2009-04-07T20:29:00.002-05:00

She sent me this card

Back to Robert Obsession time!

2009-04-07T11:12:00.003-05:00

Found that picture at Robert Pattinson....who and I was like OME!!! That is Dark Edward!!! Dark Edward is a fantastic character of AG's story Wide Awake. It is very unTwilight and very well written and received amongst the internet. Be warned though the story is not complete yet!

She is also working on another story, I have yet to read it; but Trust I will!
Oh ok....that is all for now. Resume the drooling.

A serious Issue that is near to my heart.

2009-04-06T22:37:00.002-05:00

The month of April has been designated Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM). The goal of SAAM is to raise public awareness about sexual violence (focusing on sexual assault and rape) and to educate communities and individuals on how to prevent sexual violence.

As a survivor, this is near and dear to my heart. My heart aches for all the girls and boys that are molested, raped and traumatized sexually on a daily basis by people they care or love or by complete strangers.

Children should never have their innocence taken from them for the adult's sexual gratification.

Now my public service announcement message:
1.800.656.HOPE for 24/7 help or call 911.

Please protect our children and end sexual abuse.

Serving Sizes

2009-04-06T09:56:00.002-05:00

I was doing some light shopping this am-we ran out of bread and butter. Those are staples in a prison diet as my kids think I run my house. So I serve them accordingly to the attitude they give me.

So I was looking at the bread packages and noticed some of them are for 1 slice of bread and some are for 2 slices. Why on this green Earth would you put a serving size of one slice of bread? Do you not need 2 slices to make a sandwich? When I am trying to count calories I want to look at the calories and be like okay 140 calories total for the serving size, not okay 70 for one slice, times that by 2. I do not want to do math and food preparation at the same time.

Then I checked out Pop-tarts. Those are my guilty pleasure from college days. The snack of choice. Why do they put one toaster pastry as a serving and package them in that foil wrap as 2? WHY? Like a grown adult is going to eat just one of those pastry things. Same goes for those Little Debbie Swiss cake Rolls.....yeah you eat just one of those and leave the other for later. After you separate them, half the chocolate has come off on the other roll, so you better eat it now or else it ain't going to taste all that great.

And who in the hell eats one freaking cookie? Serving size one cookie-I don't have that type of self control! Probably why I weigh what I weigh. Potato chips-yeah 1 ounces is like 13 chips-does this includes the crumbs or the teeny tiny broken pieces? Is it bad to just grab the bag and start munching? Pop (Soda for you non-midwesteners) is another good one.....they serve the pop in a 12 ounce can, but only count 8 ounces as a serving. If it is 8 ozs put it in an 8 oz can.

Same with frozen food. My family loves those Salisbury Steaks from Encore, serving size is 1. Have you seen the size of one of them? They are like 4 inches long and 1/8 inch thick.....that ain't filling up anyone. Even if you add side dishes, that 1 piece of tiny meat isn't going to fill up a family of 4.

I just get a kick out of reading food labels and the serving size suggestions. Good giggles were internally had by me.

Surgery

2009-04-05T11:33:00.003-05:00

Oh this is horrible, my own little surgeon soap opera. I wanted a certain surgeon to work on me, but he was out of town last week; so I saw his partner and he agreed that I needed surgery and set it up for me. Then this morning, I get a call from the surgeon who is going to do the surgery and he tells me that his partner is out of town and he was reviewing my file and thinks I need to do more tests and he is going to cancel the surgery, call his office in the am and schedule to come in and get these tests done. He also said to resume eating normal. Okay I will do this, but if I end up in the ER in pain, will he do surgery then? Seriously doubt it. I think he wanted to sleep in on a Monday morning, my surgery was slated for 7am.

The List

2009-04-04T15:55:00.002-05:00

I have a list of crap that needs to be done by Monday and then by next Sunday.....but I have to have this all done by Monday really, b/c I am having the Cullen Men as house guests to tend to me as I heal-I don't want to heal at wolf speed since I have awesome men tending to me. My friends told me they were bringing them. LOL

clean kitchen-done
clean dining room-done
clean loft-not done
clean my bedroom-not done
clean downstairs bathroom-done
vacuum-not done
dust-not done
clean son's room-done
help clean daughters room-not done
clean my room-not done
clean the 2 upstairs bathrooms-not done
laundry-NOT done-most likely will never be done....

I get distracted along the way.....by this little thing called Twilight.

SOS is needed!

2009-04-03T20:46:00.002-05:00

Send any of these men to my house on Monday to help me recover from gallbladder surgery, kthanks! I am not picky, if you can send all four that would be great as well.

I just love Rob

2009-04-02T22:17:00.001-05:00

He knows I am sick and he wrote me this letter. I adore that guy!

Pour Salt into my Wounds, why don't you?

2009-04-02T20:47:00.002-05:00

As you can guess I have gallbladder problems. Enough to warrant its removal from my body. I am okay with this as it means an end to the pain of eating. Eating should not hurt unless I am sparkly vampire. I have eaten nothing but plain pasta noodles-many shapes and kinds to kinda spice it up and applesauce. I was having a good day earlier in the week and decided to eat a half of banana and yeah well that was utterly painful and nauseating. I thought I would have a spoonful of cottage cheese, because I am getting desperate for some food other than noodles and applesauce and well let me tell you I am in my bed in pain over a spoonful of cottage cheese-I thought it was bland enough.

Today I saw the surgeon. He said the schedule is full for Monday with a certain doctor and they might try to squeeze me in on Monday other wise it was for sure on Wednesday. I am thinking fine. Well then driving home I realize we are suppose to leave on vacation the following Sunday up to Wisconsin-4 days post-op. I tell Jason and the kids and the kids start crying that they are never going on vacation and why did I have to get sick. To make matters even more horrible, Jason bought me a new camera to take on vacation. They all look heartbroken and I feel like fucking shit.

So I am thinking, should I go ahead and have the surgery and then go up on vacation and not swim, b/c I will have a tube in to assist in draining fluids. This is fine by me. Or should I go on vacation and wait until we get back to do my surgery and hope like hell I don't get another gallbladder attack from bland food.

What to do, what to do????? I hate this!

This commercial cracks me up!

2009-04-02T01:27:00.002-05:00

I love :20.....super delicious! Cracks me up! Even my kids scream for me when this commercial comes on. I am easy to entertain!

I love this video

2009-03-31T22:48:00.001-05:00

The whole thing is good and I can watch it over and over.

Showing some Jackson love

2009-03-31T10:30:00.007-05:00

So I got this made as a complete surprise to me over at my Twilight board. I love me some Jacksper. Now I need to work on some Kellan love. I love my Twilight slappers!

Gallbladder Update

2009-03-30T17:53:00.002-05:00

I have a dilated bile duct, so I get to see surgeon to get it removed. He best remove this fucker. How can a little bitty freaking organ cause so much pain and cause a grown woman to bawl like a baby? I have to call the surgeon tomorrow to book an appt. He can either order the gallbladder scan or decide to book the surgery. I am hoping for the latter. All I know is Edward blanket is coming with me if I have to stay overnight and I might have to purchase Edward to go-go to keep me company. Thank goodness Jason uploaded Twilight to the ipod and I will be bringing my laptop.

Monday Musings with My Mommy....

2009-03-30T10:42:00.003-05:00

So I am out and about this morning. I am being a cavewoman and gathering supplies for the cave aka grocery shopping, when my cell phone rings. The only person that bugs me at 9am on a Monday morning is none other than the woman who birthed me. We are talking and she says "OMG, Cathie, I saw where Edward gives the bird to Emmett. I have watched this movie 12 times!" She is squealing, mind you she is in her 50s. Then she proceeds to ask where is Robert singing? I tell her the restaurant scene and the ballet scene. She is oh dear Lord woman, that man can sing....swoon.....I told her I know, now do you get my obsession with him? She is all I totally get your obsession with Him and I even watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire just for him. New Moon can't get out fast enough she says. Then I sadly inform her, well Edward really isn't the book that much. She says then what is the damn book about? I told her the wolves. She is all WHAT?!?!?! The Wolves, I don't want to see the Wolves, I want Edward and him singing dammit! Woman has her priorities right!

Then she tells me, I am buying these books when I am done with culinary school. The Wolves you say. Then she realized the time and said 'shit I gotta go meet my friends and bake!'

So in essence we talked for an hour about Rob/Edward and Twilight. I have effectively pushed Tiwlight on another unsuspecting human and for this I am truly not sorry!

Wide Awake

2009-03-29T20:57:00.003-05:00

http://angstgoddess003.livejournal.com/699.html

She needs to update this story! I mean it is fantastic Twilight fan fiction. They are not vampires and not all living together. There are no warewolves, just 3 families living in Forks and struggling.

If you start, beware it is not finished.

So in the mean time, got any good Twilight fan fiction you want to share?

Peter aka Dr. Cullen

2009-03-29T15:08:00.002-05:00

I can't resist a man in his boxers! Seeing as I am a nurse, it was only fitting!

My story

2009-03-29T14:28:00.003-05:00

I have come to a cross road. I don't know how to continue it. It is pretty fucking messed up right now. Not messed up but trying to get the transitions from one place to another right, I know how it goes, but to an outsider they would get confused. It has a lot of flashbacks while the story is taking place. So that is that.

I am not in so much pain. I only ate applesauce today. I go to the doctor to get the order for this HIDA test to see about my gallbladder on Monday.

Oh I now have Twilight on my ipod! Speaking of Twilight, I have been snuggling up to Edward. He keeps me comfy in bed, Jason hasn't kicked him out, he is smart in not pissing off his sick wife. See how can one resist him if he is in your bed?
Though Jason wishes it was the Celtics or the Cubs blanket. Well I very much enjoy the fact that his eyes and mouth land perfectly on my naughty bits.

Kids Choice Awards

2009-03-27T17:25:00.003-05:00

We went, we saw, we voted!
The Kids picked what we should vote for. We will see if their votes are good. You know my kids spend tons of time in front of the tv.

The most important vote went to Twilight as Best Book-this was the only vote I had a say in.

They chose:
Reality show vote went to Are you Smarter Than a 5th grader?
Best Girl athlete vote went to Danica Patrick.
Best TV actor went to Jason Lee for his Chipmunk movie.
Favorite Cartoon is Phineas and Ferb
Favorite Movie is a tie between HSM3 and Batman....
Movie Actor was Adam Sandler
Movie Actress is Jennifer Aniston
Animated Movie goes to Wall-E
Voice of animated movie went to Jack Black
Male Singer was Kid Rock
Female Singer is Rhianna
Song vote went to I kissed a Girl
TV show is iCarly
Music Group is Pussycat Dolls
Favorite TV actress is Selena Gomez
Male Athlete is Tiger Woods
Game Video we went with Mario Super Sluggers-even though we never played this game
We will see the winners tomorrow night.

The kids and mommy's vote has been entered. We be watching for the sole purpose of seeing RP.

Gallbladder is stupid

2009-03-27T08:55:00.002-05:00

I spent most of yesterday in the ER. I don't have stones or some logical crap-I am never that easy, you know. I might have a dysfunctional one, so I have to have some nuclear medicine to see how it functions. If it sucks-then out it comes. I asked the ER doctor why not take it out now since I am here and drugged already. He said we need to make sure it is your gallbladder and not something else.

GRRRRR.....So I have Narco and Bentyl. Narco is okay. It takes the edge off the pain so I can function. Bentyl stops the spasm. You know when drinking water hurts-there is a problem.

So no alcohol for me for awhile-sucks major hairy balls. I get to eat bland food-yeah! I loves me some bland boring food. NOT.

I am revamping my site

2009-03-25T23:03:00.002-05:00

Bear with me as I try new backgrounds and stuff. How do I get rid of the white behind the words? Help.

I was called a Dork

2009-03-25T20:27:00.003-05:00

Normally I call my self a dork or my friends call me a dork and that does not bother me.

Then my daughter calls me a dork. Not just a standard dork, but a Twilight Dork. She says I know everything about it and that makes me a dork!

Oh well, I am an Twilight Dork. I mean I only have 64000 points in facebook Twilight trivia.

My Life

2009-03-24T21:36:00.003-05:00

I have started writing about my life. There is a voice in my head telling me to write about it. So I started on it last night and I am up to 2200 words. I am writing about my postpartum psychosis and depression and being diagnosed bipolar back in 2003. Writing about my life shut the voice up for awhile, but I want to continue.

I might post it here when I get the nerve up, the purpose is to educate not for sympathy or to feel woe is me. It is my life uncensored, amazing the feelings and thoughts that come back to me when I focus on that horrible day and the following years that followed. I will always suffer from bipolar and it took a long time to feel okay with being bipolar.

When the emotions get to tough, I take a break and look at him. He is telling me to go on and get healthy.

I freak my kids out.

2009-03-23T22:13:00.003-05:00

Today Demi asked me what my favorite time of day is. Me, I can't lie, tell her it is their bedtime. She says it isn't when we come home from school. I tell her nope not at all. Then she says you love us right? Nope not at all. I don't really love you at all. She has a forlorn look on her head and is about to cry. I told her your crying isn't going to change my mind. She eats her dinner in silence and is pondering this statement I made to her.

After dinner, she says you really don't love us, mommy?

I look at her and ask her what do you think? She say I feel in my heart you love us very much and I tell her she is correct.

I just love messing with my kids....it is my job as a mom to mess with them. Some might call me mean, but I love the dispair look in her face and know I can only get it when I am messing with her head.

She knows without a doubt that I love her and her brother. Well most of the time I love them.

Just another shitty Monday

2009-03-23T12:57:00.002-05:00

I honestly hate my body this morning. Where the hell did it go too? I hate having a period, I hate my boobs, I hate my stomach. I excerise and eat right and the weight just does not leave my body. Is the fat superglued to the insides of my thighs and stomach? I think it is. Bastard Fat.

I am going to go to the doctor and ask for a chin lift, boob reduction, tummy tuck, gastric bypass and liposuction. That will stimulate the economy-not really, but dammit, today is not a good day to look in the mirror.

My Friday

2009-03-21T20:15:00.002-05:00

So in Honor of my Friday, this about sums it up....this was me!

The Best Response Ever!

2009-03-19T22:44:00.003-05:00

Sculpted in the likeness of the film’s character, EDWARD CULLEN (as portrayed by Robert Pattinson). This TONNER CHARACTER FIGURE™ is approximately 17” tall and includes 14 points of articulation (neck, shoulders, elbows, wrists, chest, hips, knees, and ankles). He features hand painted features and rooted saran hair.
EDWARD comes dressed straight from the movie in a t-shirt, jeans, socks, shoes with working laces, and tailored coat.

So this Edward Doll is going to retail for $125.00. I said to my friend, Kelly, for that price there better be a certain spot that articulates and be life size of RP and Kelly said 'I just need one point of vibration and some AA batteries' OMG I have never laughed so hard in my life!

These can't be my kids

2009-03-18T20:11:00.002-05:00

I am listening to my kids play with a spiderman toy Jacob got from his happy meal the other day. It is a suction cup toy that he is pretending is a serving tray. So Jacob is asking his sister if she wants the fried boogers, the baked mice poop, fried mashed beleepy tables, frozen farts, apple butts and manipulated underwear. The request is baked mice poop and frozen farts. Life is interesting as always. Hysterical laughter ensues. They make me so proud.

Interesting.......

2009-03-17T00:39:00.005-05:00

Carnal relations are hard when you’re a worldwide heartthrob. “Twilight” hunk Robert Pattinson was overheard telling a fellow Brit, “I can’t get laid [in N.Y.C.]” while at Nur Khan’s Rosebar Saturday night. “A blind person with a British accent could get tail,” the pal retorted, cracking Pattinson up. Moments later, a cute brunette approached the star. The lass began fawning over him. “I’ll be back,” he promised, stuffing his beer into his jacket pocket before walking out.

My thoughts she was Paris Hilton with a really bad wig on and was probably all like you are Edward Cullen. Um nope, he is Robert Pattinson and he knew it was Paris, that he couldn't even think straight and stuffed a liquid container in his coat to high tail it out of the bar all the while thinking I am glad I google myself and was told by millions of Twilight fans to ignore that skanky bitch. Here is his shout out to us: Thanks for the warning, it was heard!

This is how to talk to the man if you ever meet him:
Cathie: Hey there
RP: Hi
Me: Whatchya drinking?
RP: A beer
Me: Can I bum a smoke off of you?
RP: sure (as he grabs his lighter to light the cigarette-smoking in the name of talking to RP is so worth the effects of lung cancer)
Me:(see not acting at all like an obsessed twilight woman):So what do you do for a living? Taxes? Lawyer? (getting hiney tingles in the presence of his accent and smell and hair)
RP: No I am an actor
Me:Would I have seen you in anything? (no blushing permitted)
RP:(thinking in disbelief that someone doesn't know me)umm...er....yeah....Twi..er..light.
Me (again lying through my teeth):Oh I haven't seen that. Aren't those books? Are they good?
RP: yeah, they make me lots of money to buy beer, cigs, beanies, my Nikes and Ray Bans!
Me: Oh cool, there is this one movie I want to see it is called Little Ashes....have you seen the promos for it? (keep your hands to yourself and no eye wondering down to his southern regions)
RP: Um.....I am in that one as well, but like I am like er playing a gay guy.
Me: Really???? I just want to see Dali's life as an artist. (still keep looking at his face...resist the temptation to check out his crotch)
RP: Seriously you have never heard of me?
Me: Nah, who are you again? Wanna come to my house and see my Dali's paintings? (SO I can rape you)
RP: Have you ever seen Harry Potter?
Me: Who is that? Do you eat Kidney Pie, I hear that is a big dish in England (I blew my cover, he knows I stalk him daily from my computer)
RP: How did you know I am from England?
Me: Bite me ( I am being blunt)
RP: Wha....
Me: Bite me hard as I take this picture. (I am horny and need proof)
RP: Say what?
Me: I confess I know you and you give me hiney tingles about a million times a day, I lick my computer screen and I even blew out the speakers in my car with your voice. (Dammit he dazzled me-Fuck those lips and his bedroom eyes)
RP: Marry me
ME: Yes. (Score)

And that is how to talk to Robert.

Oh Lordy!

2009-03-16T12:36:00.001-05:00

I am finally playing with my PS3 software. What a nice subject to work with. Truly I am not obsessed at all! Really I am not and don't tell me otherwise!